10.1 million folks have illegally downloaded Soccer Supervisor 13. Not less than, that was the quantity a decade in the past. I think about the obtain price has dropped off a little bit since then in favour of newer editions of Sports activities Interactive’s perennial simulator, in any other case generally known as ‘catnip for dads’. However again in November of 2013, 10.1 was the determine.
We all know this as a result of the naughty souls who cracked Soccer Supervisor in Could of that 12 months made a mistake. There was a flaw within the model of the sport they unfold throughout filesharing websites, which meant Sports activities Interactive may observe the IP deal with of everybody who illegally acquired it. I’m not aware of the tradition of web pirates, however I reckon that is the kind of error that will get you laughed at by all of your buccaneer friends. Like by chance knocking a gap within the hull of your schooner, then getting too deep in your cups to note your ship’s slowly sinking in Tortuga bay.
Inside months, Soccer Supervisor figurehead Miles Jacobson was onstage on the London Video games Convention, breaking down the stats for everybody. The il-league-al desk, if you’ll. Portugal positioned third with 781,785 downloads. Turkey took second place with 1.05m, and China led the pack with 3.2m. No trophies have been awarded.
Italy didn’t bother the very high of the board, which I collect is commonly the case relating to soccer today. However essentially the most notable case of piracy got here from deep inside Rome, within the microstate generally known as Vatican Metropolis. A single web person from the Catholic Church’s tiny nation determined they didn’t wish to pay to reside out their Ryan Reynolds Wrexham fantasy. This truth has lived rent-free in my head ever since—which may be a sore level, because the Pope requested cardinals to start out paying hire final 12 months.
So far as I’m conscious, the Vatican doesn’t take problem with videogames per se. Certain, again in 2016, Pope Francis advised over 1,000,000 followers sprawled out on blankets in a Polish meadow that they need to keep away from isolating themselves on computer systems as “younger sofa potatoes”, and as a substitute change into activists in help of a greater world. However I broadly agree with him—the world would be improved if I spent extra time attending protest marches, and fewer of it popping heads in Black Ops 6. What’s extra, there’s at the least one Vatican determine who has publicly and repeatedly declared a love for gaming. You could know Father Robert Ballecer from X—the ‘Digital Jesuit’ and priest who in 2019 arrange a Minecraft server with the Vatican’s blessing.

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“At first, there have been lots of people who have been very hesitant,” he mentioned. “As a result of they see this man in a collar, speaking concerning the newest choices from Google or the way you run fibre optics throughout the Atlantic, they usually didn’t perceive. They mentioned, ‘Wait a minute, these two issues don’t go collectively.’ However after time, folks began to understand, ‘He is aware of what he’s speaking about, he simply occurs to be a priest.’”
The server was shortly DDOSed, however that’s moreover the purpose—the Vatican already is aware of the worth of gaming relating to reaching new generations and offering neighborhood. I imply, they’re even getting ready to canonise their first gamer saint. Soccer Supervisor is under no circumstances off limits.
However evidently, there’s an ethical dimension to the story of the Soccer Supervisor pirate, and that’s what makes it so fascinating. The concept that the blokes behind ‘thou shalt not steal’ may be queuing up torrents on the quiet—it’s the type of scrumptious dissonance that powers tales like Conclave, the latest Ralph Fiennes movie concerning the collection of a brand new pope.
Then there’s the enclosed and compact nature of the Vatican, which solely compounds the sense of intrigue. As of 2018, there have been solely 618 residents of the Vatican state, a scant 246 of whom really lived inside its partitions (104 of these, by the best way, have been the Swiss Guard, the Papal honour unit who carry halberds and customarily reside essentially the most Warhammer life conceivable).
In different phrases, the circle is so small that as a Vatican resident, you’re prone to both know the Soccer Supervisor pirate personally, or be that pirate your self. It’s a thriller setup worthy of Agatha Christie, or Lucas Pope.
But it’s one with out decision. In principle, the Soccer Supervisor pirate may fess up at any time—assuming they’re nonetheless dwelling. However 11 years on, it’s starting to really feel unlikely. If there was any inside investigation, its findings resounded solely throughout the Vatican’s partitions. And outdoors town, reminiscences are fading. After I introduced up the story in PC Gamer Slack, not even my fellow journalists recalled Jacobson’s once-shocking revelation. The world, and Soccer Supervisor, has moved on.
So I’ll need to fulfill my curiosity by videogames. I’ll consider the Soccer Supervisor pirate once I get caught into Indiana Jones and the Nice Circle this Christmas, exploring a digital recreation of a wartime Vatican whereas undercover as a Catholic priest. I’ll consider them, too, once I infiltrate Angelwatch—the mechanist tower in Thief 2: The Metallic Age which, if Conclave is something to go by, bears an eerie resemblance to the dwelling quarters of the Domus Sanctae Marthae, the Vatican guesthouse the place cardinals keep whereas electing a brand new pope.
And I’ll need to be glad with the data that the Vatican pirate seems to have discovered their lesson. Simply final month, Larian reported that among the many many, many copies of Baldur’s Gate 3 at the moment in circulation, two are contained in the Vatican. They usually have been each paid for. “Bought 2 copies of Baldur’s Gate 3 in The Vatican, with 1 wishlist,” tweeted publishing director Michael Douse. “I might wish to suppose the latter is simply the Pope ready till he has a free minute.
“Want I may see their mod record,” he added. “Guess it is completely gnarly.”